The Simile Challenge

Fill in your best simile or comparison. 

As cold as a…

As mean as a…

As blue as a…

As bright as a…

So tight it felt like a…

So tired, I felt like …

As sharp as a …

The burning smelled like a…

As funny as a …

As creative as a …

7 responses to “The Simile Challenge

  1. As mean as a drunk without a drink.

  2. As cold as a…ex-wife’s heart
    As mean as a…ex-wife’s growl
    As blue as a…bruise from the ex-wife’s fist
    As bright as a…having an ex-wife
    So tight it felt like a…ex-wife’s clenched teeth
    So tired, I felt like …my ex-wife ran over me
    As sharp as a …ex-wife’s lawyer
    The burning smelled like a…lit wedding license
    As funny as a …ex-wife’s crutch
    As creative as a …excuse not to talk to the ex-wife

  3. As cold as …
    a doctor’s stethoscope.
    a conversation between President Barack Obama and Governor (of Texas) Rick Perry.

    As mean as …
    a hungry dieter.
    a clique of teenage girls.

    As blue as …
    an unrequited lover.
    the Windows® screen of death.

    As bright as …
    the refrigerator light during a 1:00 a.m. snack attack.
    an alien ship that is about to abduct an earthling.

    So tight, …
    the skirt band felt like blood pressure cuff around my waist.
    the interior of the sports car felt like a cocoon.
    the ballerina’s hair bun felt like an instant facelift.

    So tired, I felt like …
    a deflated balloon.
    a wilted tulip.
    a collapsed soufflé.

    As sharp as …
    an outspoken critic’s tongue.
    Jon Stewart’s wit.
    a dental instrument.

    The burning smelled like …
    an iron-scorched shirt.
    over zapped microwave popcorn.

    As creative as …
    a single mom with her budget.
    a dog who wants his human’s attention.
    a political wordsmith.

  4. I think I’m flunking the simile challenge. This whole thing has my muse as cold as a dog musher’s nose in December. She is not amused and an un-amused muse can be as mean as musk ox on the tundra. As far as I’m concerned, I’m as blue as a Stellar’s Jay because I can’t think of a single simile.

    Far as I’m concerned, an ideal simile would be as unlikely as a bright sun appearing this gloomy summer. My brain is wrapped around this challenge as tight as Scrooge’s purse strings, but I’m so tired I feel like I just ran the Iditarod twice.

    Maybe some day when my brain is as sharp as a whaler’s harpoon, I’ll come back here and try again. In the meantime, the burning smells exactly like me burning this assignment. Which, when you think of it, is as funny as the time I tried to be creative with the Frightful Four sentences during an autumn lightning storm. As creative as a bomb shelter!

  5. So tight it felt like a grandmother’s hug
    As blue as the lips of a shivering child
    So tired I felt like a petal drifting from a lily at spring’s end
    As cold as a woman touched by a man she loathes
    As mean as nuns with PMS
    As sharp as a zoot suit in 1938
    Funny as a giggle coming out of a confessional
    Creative as a prison-break at high noon
    The burning smelled like an un-emptied ash tray after a poker game

  6. As cold as a…the look I gave my mother when she dared to think that she knew as much as I did
    As mean as a…the look my father gave me, when I gave her the “cold look”
    As blue as a…mood could be, when my parents died
    As bright as a…chrome fixture, after I spend the entire day scrubbing it, to avoid doing the things that really needed doing.
    So tired, I felt like …I should be able to make love to that absurdly clean chrome fixture – after all the scrubbing.
    So tight it felt like a…the waistband on my too tight jeans
    As sharp as a …the pin that kept opening, because it just couldn’t hold those too tight jeans together any more..
    The burning smelled like a…$70.00 roast in the the over, that I forgot about, too busy scrubbing dumb chrome fixture
    As funny as a …large Chinese food order to substitute for the burnt roast.
    As creative as a …dinner I could come up with, after scrubbing all day, burning the roast and neglecting all the things that really needed doing…
    but, with enough wine to prompt good dinner conversation and good friends, who cares!

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